Everyone has heard talk and quotes before on "living life to it's fullest." It is one of those common sayings that people throw around like pennies. But how many of us actually heed this advice?
My contemplation of this idea has come into sharp focus this week after hearing about the deadly shooting at the "Dark Knight Returns" premier in Aurora, Colorado. During the daylight hours after the shooting, talk began about how this was going to affect the turnout numbers for premier weekend of the movie and discussions of stepped up security at theaters showing the movie. Then on Saturday morning I get a call from my mother.
"You aren't going to see that movie this weekend, are you?" she asks as soon as I answer the phone. My immediate thought and response is, "Yes, why not?" And I did see it. I just returned a couple hours ago from seeing the movie tonight, 7/21/12 (it was awesome, by the way). My reasoning? I flat out refuse to let others dictate the fear I should have of every day life. If we were all worried about the "What ifs?" of any possible situation we would never leave our homes. And what the hell would be the point of life in that situation?
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Monday, July 9, 2012
Bullying and Society
There has been a ton of media coverage (traditional and social media) on bullying in the last year or so. I've seen articles on everything from the causes of bullying, the mechanics of bullying, and the consequences of bullying. Everyone has an opinion, as well. While I believe it is a good thing that bullying is recognized and dealt with I am of the firm belief that bullying will never go away. No matter how much light you shed on the issue bullying will never be eradicated in any age group.
As children, I see the concept of the "pack mentality" in action when bullying occurs. It is rare for bullying to start with only two individuals (the bully and the victim). In my own experiences as a child, I experienced bullying quite a bit. While in elementary school (up through 6th grade for me) I was enrolled in a private school. I went from grade to grade with the same 20-30 students, and never really had anything change from year to year. I was one of the tallest kids at the time (by 6th grade I had almost reached my full height of 5'2") and a tomboy. I had a lot of confidence and didn't really have any issues with the other students that I can remember. That all changed when I went to public middle school for 7th grade.
7th grade was probably one of the worst years in my childhood. I was thrown into a public school environment for the first time (and not one of the better schools or areas, either). While private school prepared me academically for higher education (I had a solid academic foundation and soared through middle and high school with little to no trouble education-wise) it did me no favors in preparing me for the "real world" when it came to social interaction. First, I was a tomboy, while that had never harmed me with my friendships with boys or girls while in private school, it caused a huge issue in my new public school... especially with the girls. They were probably the worst. Typical offenses included being called all types of nasty names and slurs which I didn't even know or recognize having come from a less "street smart" environment, having my backpack and belongings stolen out of my locker during PE and dumped in trashcans, hidden in random places around the locker room (including in the showers with the water on), physical assaults such as ramming me into the lockers, kicking while walking by, etc, and other general bullying tactics. As for the boys, I got into one scuffle with a guy towards the beginning of the year but was able to hold my own for the most part and didn't have that much of an issue with them again. Boys were easy... I couldn't get into a physical fight with a girl for the life of me... they work dirty. Second, I was smart and academically oriented. This caused the typical "nerd" bullying, but I found that to be much less troublesome than the first type.
After moving to a new school for my last year of middle school (8th grade) which was in a much nicer neighborhood and in general had a much less socioeconomically challenged group of kids, I ended up faring quite a bit better. I remember all through 8th grade, though, I was still trying to find my footing in a totally different environment than I was used to. I don't think I quite settled down socially until the later half of high school to be, honest. And even then, you couldn't get me to go back and experience it all over again for all the money in the world.
The fact is that children in a large group are just plain mean. They lack the social experiences and the development that comes with those experiences to really understand how their actions affect their environment and others. Basically they are selfish. (Whether this is a result of environment, parenting, genetics, or a combination of all three is a completely separate discussion all together.) Also, some kids are just sociopaths at that point in life. They could care less about anything beyond themselves and how others view them. Getting caught is the only thing that bothers them. Some of these kids will grow out of it and develop into better adults, others won't... which moves them into adult bullying. Bullying as an adult is something that I've not really experienced much of. But I think at that point in life it is more of a two way street, as well. The victim isn't a child who has no idea what he or she can do to stop it and has a better developed sense of problem solving and logic as resources in these situations. In coming across someone who would try to bully me as an adult, I feel like I would be able to recognize it for the act that it is, and stop it dead in its tracks. At least I would like to think so.
Feel free to comment or post your thoughts... I'm curious as to other's opinions in these matters.
As children, I see the concept of the "pack mentality" in action when bullying occurs. It is rare for bullying to start with only two individuals (the bully and the victim). In my own experiences as a child, I experienced bullying quite a bit. While in elementary school (up through 6th grade for me) I was enrolled in a private school. I went from grade to grade with the same 20-30 students, and never really had anything change from year to year. I was one of the tallest kids at the time (by 6th grade I had almost reached my full height of 5'2") and a tomboy. I had a lot of confidence and didn't really have any issues with the other students that I can remember. That all changed when I went to public middle school for 7th grade.
7th grade was probably one of the worst years in my childhood. I was thrown into a public school environment for the first time (and not one of the better schools or areas, either). While private school prepared me academically for higher education (I had a solid academic foundation and soared through middle and high school with little to no trouble education-wise) it did me no favors in preparing me for the "real world" when it came to social interaction. First, I was a tomboy, while that had never harmed me with my friendships with boys or girls while in private school, it caused a huge issue in my new public school... especially with the girls. They were probably the worst. Typical offenses included being called all types of nasty names and slurs which I didn't even know or recognize having come from a less "street smart" environment, having my backpack and belongings stolen out of my locker during PE and dumped in trashcans, hidden in random places around the locker room (including in the showers with the water on), physical assaults such as ramming me into the lockers, kicking while walking by, etc, and other general bullying tactics. As for the boys, I got into one scuffle with a guy towards the beginning of the year but was able to hold my own for the most part and didn't have that much of an issue with them again. Boys were easy... I couldn't get into a physical fight with a girl for the life of me... they work dirty. Second, I was smart and academically oriented. This caused the typical "nerd" bullying, but I found that to be much less troublesome than the first type.
After moving to a new school for my last year of middle school (8th grade) which was in a much nicer neighborhood and in general had a much less socioeconomically challenged group of kids, I ended up faring quite a bit better. I remember all through 8th grade, though, I was still trying to find my footing in a totally different environment than I was used to. I don't think I quite settled down socially until the later half of high school to be, honest. And even then, you couldn't get me to go back and experience it all over again for all the money in the world.
The fact is that children in a large group are just plain mean. They lack the social experiences and the development that comes with those experiences to really understand how their actions affect their environment and others. Basically they are selfish. (Whether this is a result of environment, parenting, genetics, or a combination of all three is a completely separate discussion all together.) Also, some kids are just sociopaths at that point in life. They could care less about anything beyond themselves and how others view them. Getting caught is the only thing that bothers them. Some of these kids will grow out of it and develop into better adults, others won't... which moves them into adult bullying. Bullying as an adult is something that I've not really experienced much of. But I think at that point in life it is more of a two way street, as well. The victim isn't a child who has no idea what he or she can do to stop it and has a better developed sense of problem solving and logic as resources in these situations. In coming across someone who would try to bully me as an adult, I feel like I would be able to recognize it for the act that it is, and stop it dead in its tracks. At least I would like to think so.
Feel free to comment or post your thoughts... I'm curious as to other's opinions in these matters.
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